What Remained

Sometime within the last three days, including today, I found myself noticing something unusual during one of my routine trips to the park.

The entire area smelled like eggs.

At first I couldn't place it. Then I remembered that most of the neighborhood uses gas stoves. Considering the explosions that happened recently, my mind immediately wandered toward the possibility of a gas leak.

I couldn't smell any fires.

Then again, why would I want to?

That would mean getting close enough to the flames to find out.

After finishing my walk, I headed back to my current residence and started working on my Neocities website.

That ended up becoming the highlight of my day.

Since I couldn't find any cursors that matched what I had envisioned, I decided to make my own. But before the dewdrop cursor ever existed, I had already made two instruments for the site: a felted piano and a slide whistle.

I couldn't hide my excitement.

I couldn't contain my joy and needed to share it with someone.

Naturally, I drifted toward Muffy.

She seemed to be having a fabulous time. Showed me some cute pics. Her kids had been a bit harsh toward her while showing off for their cousins, but overall things appeared to be going well.

Then this afternoon I learned she wasn't feeling well at all.

It was strange how quickly the mood shifted.

One moment we were talking about website projects and little victories. The next, she was trying to get through the day while feeling sick  from vomiting and cramping

I also found myself feeling a little awkward and out of place.

Maybe it was because I didn't feel like I had much of my own life to share.

Or maybe what I did have felt too boring to mention.

I'm not exactly living my best life at the moment, so perhaps it felt like there wasn't much importance in talking about it.

Still, she listened anyway.

The more I worked on the site, the more ideas appeared.

Coding has slowly become one of the few places where my creativity feels unrestricted. Every small improvement seems to create three new possibilities behind it.

While working on the site, I realized something about the way I approach projects.

I don't think like someone who is simply building a website.

I've been trying to build an environment.

A place with its own atmosphere, pacing, and quiet rules.

Most websites focus on features.

I find myself focused on feelings.

How a page moves.

How a cursor behaves.

How a visitor experiences a space without consciously realizing why.

The dewdrop cursor wasn't really about the cursor.

The spores weren't really about the scrollbar.

They were pieces of a larger world.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I've never approached creative projects as displays of content.

I approach them as ecosystems.

I want things to feel alive.

Not loud.

Not flashy.

Alive.

Maybe that's why I spend so much time refining details most people would never notice.

The details are the experience.

And for the first time in a while, it feels like I finally have a place to let those ideas exist.

I also came across a few new ideas for my Neocities website.

Nothing concrete yet.

At the moment, I'm not sure I want to make any grand changes.

The dewdrop cursor, the felted piano, the slide whistle, and the drifting spores already feel like they're moving things in the right direction.

Maybe the site needs more time before I start reshaping it again.

Somewhere in all of that, I was a bit surprised to see a comment from Asto yesterday.

It's been well over a few months since I last heard from him. The last time was around Valentine's Day.

After that, nothing.

I figured he had gone ghost and left our chatting site behind since things had started to feel less than casual.

He was also busy with school, and I knew he'd have better priorities to maintain.

As usual, I didn't step in the way.

I just let things fade.

So seeing his comment caught me off guard.

I guess he was still reading the site.

Honestly, most people don't seem all that interested, so I wasn't expecting it.

It also made me think about the chat area I've been planning to add.

Originally, I tried to make it work on the blog itself, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt there were better ways to go about it.

Neocities seems like the better home for it.

For now, though, it's just another idea sitting on the shelf with the others.

Today doesn't feel quite as great as the last few days did.

Not bad.

Just quieter.

Like the excitement settled down and left me sitting with whatever was left behind.

Other than that, I'm not really sure what to write about next.